Monday, 12 Dec 05
Posted in Musings at 9:44 pm by jadeite
I wish you out of the woods
And into the picture with me.
I wish you over the moon,
Come out of the question and be.
If this is going to
Run round in my head
I might as well be dreaming.
Run round in my head
I rollercoaster for you.
Time out of mind
Must be heavenly.
It’s all enchanted and wild,
It’s just like my heart said
It was going to be.
If this is going to
Run round in my head
I might as well be dreaming.
Run round in my head…
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Posted in Musings at 9:41 pm by jadeite
Went down to Wen’s house on impulse today and we talked over lunch and a French manicure and pedicure - Wen, you owe me for my services, heh! Aaah it’s so good to talk to her. She’s the kind of friend I can not talk to for months on end but when I come back to the relationship we’re still good friends. Don’t worry I won’t abandon you for long la :) Love you too much!
Anyhow the mess that is my house is slowly clearing up; Joel’s more or less moved into the study already and we’re going to have to get used to it being ‘Joel’s room’ and not the study.
When it’s double or nothing, would you keep what you have and live with the ‘what if’, or would you risk everything for a slim chance on something better? When what you have is more than enough, is it worth risking even if you could have something perfect? Because you could lose everything instead and end up with nothing at all.
Life seems nothing more than an endless, plaintive quest for love and its fulfillment.
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Sunday, 11 Dec 05
Posted in Sing a song [of sixpence] at 10:08 pm by jadeite
Draw me close to You
Never let me go
I lay it all down again
To hear You say that I’m Your friend
You are my desire
No one else will do
‘Cause nothing else could take Your place
To feel the warmth of Your embrace
Help me find the way
Bring me back to You
You’re all I want
You’re all I’ve ever needed
You’re all I want
Help me know You are near
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Posted in Musings at 10:06 pm by jadeite
I love my Sunday drives to and from church with Dad. It’s a time I get to spend with him all alone when I get to talk to him about anything. It always surprises me how insightful he really really is, and how he does have a handle on what’s going on in my life and what I’m feeling even though I don’t come out and say things straight out. He’s incredibly perceptive, and knows me inside and out. It’s just a relief to be able to talk to Dad like this and come out with everything on my mind without worrying about being judged or being misunderstood.
That being said, the topic we spoke about is one that’s been haunting my thoughts for quite awhile now. Do you believe in The One? Honestly? I want to know. How do you know when you’ve met The One? Should you rely on hunches? Do you rely on practicality?
More than ever I need the Lord to guide my footsteps, especially when my walk is faltering. It’s really hard to step back and give over my life into His hands but it’s something I have to learn, that I’m not in control of my life but He is. Too many times I’ve pre-empted and made rash decisions simply because I couldn’t wait to see what His plan was, and ended up mucking up my life. So there’s something I need to learn.
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Saturday, 10 Dec 05
Posted in Musings at 11:45 pm by jadeite
There are times you ask for signs.
Then there are times you regret it.
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Posted in Musings at 2:45 pm by jadeite
I’ve been sniffling all day today and yesterday - not from misery, but from a cloying excess of dust. The bedrooms at home look awfully like a giant baby has been in there and thrown a tantrum; we’re in the process of rearranging furniture and bedrooms so the clearing has been a terrible mess. Joel’s moving into the study, Johanna’s moving into his room, and I’m getting my room to myself for the first time since Hanna was born. Bully for her, too, it’s the first time she’s getting her own room since she was born!
Anyhow it’s been a real trip down memory lane, what with me unearthing journals and autograph books and old letters every other minute. I found my very first journal, from sec 3, and it’s almost a travesty to not read any of them while I go through my stuff. I’ve picked out letters and cards from people I’d almost forgotten, read entries about things that I have indeed forgotten, and laughed and teared over a teenhood not too wisely spent. I’ve been reminded of people who used to be in my life, realized I used to be much closer to some people that I remember, and understand now how difficult a thing to manage friendship really is.
So here’s a little shoutout - to some people who used to write me letters, to people who featured often in my journals, to those few I once loved and almost forgot. Samuel Ethan Lee, Chong Kezheng, Jasmine Tan (MEET ME IN MELBOURNE IN JUNE!), Esmee, Candice, Joy, Jess Tan (wooo!), Xinwei, Jeremy Wang even. I’ve remembered you all and a few more in one afternoon.
Makes me a little bit annoyed with technology, because there’s no way I’ll accidentally come upon my old blog entries and start to reminisce; they’re always here and I can always read them, but it’s all the sweeter when I find old letters and cards and read things in other people’s handwritings, and remember the things we used to worry about and fret over that seem so inconsequential now.
I think I just might be getting a little old.
And oh, I spoke to George last night! *BEAMS*
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Friday, 9 Dec 05
Posted in Hurhur :D at 7:02 pm by jadeite
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Posted in Musings at 5:15 pm by jadeite
Woo, I’m going to be a decently paid intern next year! Thumbs up for SAM!
*beams*
That’s less of a worry about cash for Melbourne!
AAAAAAHH I WANT TO GO TO MELBOURNE!
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Posted in Musings at 2:13 pm by jadeite
Went back to hall last night and to my distinct surprise, I’ve started to resent it a little bit.
I’m suddenly tired of being involved in hall activities, suddenly annoyed by the dustiness of a hall room that hasn’t been touched in two weeks, suddenly piqued by all that close living. Although I do sorely miss my girls Max and Bin (let’s go out! Sushi!) who are right now the only two good things I can find about hall.
Maybe this is just a phase. Post-vacation phase.
Talked to Bean two nights ago about the Melbourne trip and the more I think about it the more excited I’m getting. Oh, the places I’ll go! The people I’ll see! I’m even thinking of maybe calling up Kai-mommy and asking if they would like me to stop in New Zealand - though if I do, I’ll need some sponsorships to kick in. I’ve been checking out ticket prices already and the cheapest I can find so far is $498, round trip Melbourne and Singapore, on British Airways. I wonder if the price will go down? I could take the nonstop flight or I could transit in Sydney (just so I can say that I’ve been to Sydney!) :D
Aaah. Can’t you hear how worked up I’m getting? So fun so exciting, I can’t wait :/ I’ve more or less got accommodation settled, so it’s just about who I’m going to meet when I’m there. Angie? Mikki? I can’t even REMEMBER who’s in Melbourne now. Hur.
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Wednesday, 7 Dec 05
Posted in Musings at 10:19 pm by jadeite
Aah! Daddy just popped a little square wrapped thing in front of me, saying “I’m sure you’ll like this.”
It’s a Ghirardelli Square Dark Chocolate with White Mint filling! *gaspdrool*
I’ll save it til I finish this post :D
So anyway PortoKat came over this evening to hang out with Hanna and me after I’d spent the entire day lounging around lazily, wasting away woozily in front of the telly. Yay for free MTV and StarWorld! We ended up walking around Junction 8 shopping. Anyone who wants to meet up with me these hols before I get entirely swallowed up by internship should book their places ASAP. My weeks are rapidly filling up.
Camel’s in KL with his friends and I suddenly miss him a whole lot. Now that the excitement of the Israel trip has somewhat simmered down, the mundanity and normalcy of Singapore life is beginning to settle in again and I’ve got time and space in my heart for the things that occupied the space that Israel took over. It doesn’t help that I look over the vacation photos while listening to the travel CD that George made for me and can feel that palpable ache for the lonely, emotive country that has so many things wrong with it, yet so many, many things right about it. I’m just a little wistful, really. I’m not really missing it badly; it’s just a little bitty bit in my chest that twinges whenever anyone mentions Israel.
Sniff.
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