tell me about it

It seems to have become a Chinese New Year tradition for me - I just dyed my whole head of hair a triumphant blue-black color.

Anyhow, today they let me off work early in view of the upcoming Chinese New Year holiday *unrestrained whoop of delight - CNY YAY* so I left office and wandered around City Hall to kill time before YFC a capella practice at 7pm.

Maybe it’s also because that time of the month is coming, but I was feeling really down. That wave of sadness and loneliness just broke over my head and washed all over me, and I felt so desolate and alone. I paused between the shelves to send a broken, heartfelt plea to God to be with me, asking Him to please please take the sadness away from me and send comfort to me.

I’d barely finished choking out the prayer in my head, and I’d just opened my eyes and looked up, when my phone beeped.

I had this surge of hope that I immediately squashed, feeling furious with myself and almost hating myself; because I keep getting my own hopes up and disappointing myself. Just makes things worse.

So I pressed the button to read the message, and when I did, my eyes widened, I started to smile, and my heart upswelled and burst in thankfulness to God.

He truly knows His children, and now I understand what a Godsend is.