Monday, 27 Mar 06
Sketches
“Is this what you want? Is this what you need?” she whispered, and her voice was a silken thread, a tangled web, slip-smooth in his ear.
“Yes,” he said. He tilted his head back, welcomed it. Luxuriating. Yes.
Yes.
He smiled with eyes closed. She smiled back, velvet and white and Cheshire-sweet; then her voice curled into his ear, reached right into his head and ripped his brain to pieces.
***
Yo ho and a bottle of yum.
***
Hear, all ye people; hearken, O earth, and all that therein is: and let the Lord God be witness against you, the Lord from His holy temple.
For, behold, the Lord cometh forth out of His place, and will come down, and tread upon the high places of the earth.
And the mountains shall be molten under Him, and the valleys shall be cleft, as wax before the fire, and as the waters that are poured down a steep place.
***
This is what I dreamt last night.
Joel, Shaun and I were going camping in Cameron Highlands. We were going to drive up, and pitch tents, and rough it. We were at the supermarket looking for supplies; I searched the entire supermarket trying to find a sleeping bag. I did find schoolbags, fruit, umbrellas - at which point I thought, should I buy an umbrella? Nah, don’t think so - teddy bears, etc…but no sleeping bag. I woke up, eventually (of course) and didn’t give my dream a second thought.
Then this morning while walking to work, it was drizzling, and I thought, shucks, I knew I should have bought that umbrella last night.
Wait a minute.
***
One of these these things just doesn’t belong here
And look at that girl
Oh, I just don’t belong here
And look at that girl (look at that, feel bad)
***
“Have you been told yet?” Daddy asked me, right before we got up to sing the hymn. Eyes somber. “Bing went for cell group, and heard that there’s a little boy called Dillon, whose brother died of a brain tumor a few years back, and now he’s got the same brain cancer.”
I stared at him in horrible shock and realization. Russell, Dillon, no, not both of them, dear God, no. The first sweet strains of the hymn began to play, Have faith, have faith in God, and tears began to drip down my face.
…His heart is touched with your grief and despair; cast all your cares and your burdens upon Him, and leave them there, oh, leave them there…
And I wept, and wept, and I couldn’t stop.
For one naked, empty moment I screamed at Him, God, why would You do this?
…have faith in God though all else fall about you…
***
a song for
someone who needs somewhere
to long for
homesick
cause I no longer know
where home is.
JADEITE
tscd said,
March 27, 2006 at 5:55 pm
Poor Dillon. He knows what brain cancer is like.
Remember that God is not responsible for the evil that is in this world. This is what I tell myself everyday.
jadeite said,
March 27, 2006 at 6:01 pm
Apparently it’s the same kind of tumor but this one was growing on his spine; it was pinching a nerve and he’d been complaining of paralysis and numbness in his leg.
They took him to NUH where the doctors said there was nothing wrong with him, well they were bloody wrong.
His mom recognized the symptoms from her eldest boy who died from a brain tumor, so she refused to accept their diagnosis and took him to KK hospital, where they examined him and operated on him the very next day, because they said it couldn’t wait.
He’s in recovery now.
He’s only ten years old.
I know He’s not responsible. I just…just for that moment. Dill’s mother is the sweetest, loveliest woman on this planet. :( To have two children suffer the same debilitating disease is just horrific.
tscd said,
March 28, 2006 at 2:25 am
I can’t believe the NUH doctors could have missed something like that. Any child with a limp should be taken seriously - especially one who has a family history of disease.
Fortunately Dillon’s mother sought a second opinion. It was very wise of her. From the sounds of it, Dillon is very blessed to have such a beautiful mother.