I support Liverpool and I live in Bishan
May 15th, 2006 by jadeite
There’s a guy in today’s papers who’s been termed a ‘Love Doctor’ because he and two other friends wrote a book called ‘Love Clinic’.
His name is Chelestiar Kong, and he’s never had a girlfriend.
At first I thought, okay, poor child, his parents really did him over with that name. Plus, I honestly don’t think anyone who’s not had relationship experience is in any way qualified to write an instructional love manual.
Then I carried on reading, and I find much to my horror that HE GAVE HIMSELF THAT NAME.
I choked on my drink and spent the next few moments hacking out water from my lungs.
And why did he pick this amazing name? He tells us obligingly: “An English name is just easier for people to remember. I support Chelsea and I like the sound of Balestier so I combined the two words and got Chelestiar. I thought that name would be nice.”
*long, ominous silence*
No wonder he’s never had a girlfriend.
He also insists that although girlfriend-less he is nonetheless qualified to write a love manual, because - “I have a 1000-plus-page medical textbook written by two authors. I don’t think they have seen all the diseases they have written about.”
I’m finding it hard to breathe.
Chelestiar is the one on the left, with the stethoscope.
Photo from The*Sunday*Times, May 14, 2006. Taken by Wang*Hui*Fen.
*shudders*
these weird medical stoodents.
eee ..
is it pronounced CHEL-uhs-tear, or cher-LES-tear d’you think?
Cherh-les-tee-er?
Hahahah. I don’t know.
HAHAHAHA!!!
I read that too, and thought it was hiliarious.
And they said they were ‘”qualified” to write the book (despite their experience, or lack of, in relationships) just like how doctors who write books on diseases have, perhaps, never seen/treated many of those diseases. Like OMG.
I don’t even know why Sunday Times ran that story. -blah-
Slow news day? :D
Or maybe they just wanted to share teh funny with everyone :P
sometimes, it is truly amazing how people aren’t able to see the weirdness in the things they do. :D
The thing about Sunday Times is….. the main paper is funnier than the comic section…..
What a way to start your Sunday. :D
[...] http://jadeite.ketsugi.com/2006/05/15/livershan/ [...]
there’s no point putting all the asteriks when you keep getting tomorrow-ed man.
Hello, my name is Liverpooshan. I wanted to call myself Liverishan, but it was already taken.
Anyone living in Chua Chu Kang who supports Everton?
The Kong was a classmate in Pri school. Outcast and a geek thru and thru. I agree that there is no direct comparison between textbooks on disease written by doctors and a love guide.
Its more like writing a guide to rally driving (relationships are like that with potholes and twists and turns) when you don’t even have a driving license.
Considering I’ve had my heart broken like 4-5 times, maybe I should write a book… entitled, “Who needs Women? Turn Gay”. hur hur.
Slarshie: that’s what makes for an interesting world :P
DK: I’ll say! Sunday appears to be fluff day for ST. Not complaining though when they unearth funny gems like these.
hucks: hahaha. it’s not my fault! That’s the problem with having friends who are tomorrow.sg editors :X
BC: yes, I chope Livershan! you’re a Liverpool fan staying in Bishan too? :D What would be funnier is an Arsenal fan staying in Queenstown.. :)
Alcoholic: Then you wouldn’t have women problems, you’d have men problems :D And I like your rally driving analogy. Makes sense!
Wah-lau, all that medical tuition fees, govt tuition fee grant, subsidies, parents grants for them to write a textbook about “LURVE” and “LEELATIONSHIPS?”
Last I heard it costs something to the tune of $30k a year in tuition for 5 years to get that MBBS?
Sigh…perhaps we should reverse the quota for men and give some of the medical faculty places to women.
There’s a quota for men?!???!
Okay that I didn’t know.
Damn….I’m an Arsenal fan living in Holland Rd….gotta move!
HAHA :D That’s just as bad as the one staying in Queenstown.
Actually he looks more like a Chibystier.
He probably thinks that f–king a girl’s belly button is the actual sex act.
On page 269 of his manual, he gives instructions on how to bang the gong with a girl, and dictates that “one should insert one’s lovetool into girl’s belly button”
Oh that’s just so wrong. Are you serious? He actually said that?
:(
Apparently, it’s pronounced, “cher-LES-stair”, not say.. “che-les-tier” as I would have imagined, since that’s how “balestier” is pronounced.
Oh well. I wonder what’s worse - that they seriously think they are the authorities on the subject, or that someone would publish their book.
Really? Cher-les-stair?
Stair?
Maybe he thinks it’s pronounced Ba-les-stair.
What’s worse is if people voluntarily buy the book.
sounds like some bastardised form of celestial. and i had the dubious honour of bumping into him yesterday here in sydney
i feel ashamed to have to share the same country with this dumbass. He especially does a disservice to Chelsea fans, people living in balestier and doctors. Hell, he makes all males in general look bad. Thanks a lot, doctor dumbass.
Hahaha isn’t that so true!
I apologize to all parties affected on behalf of the student population of the Yong Loo Lin School of Medicine, we should have reined them in when we could. How can we ever live this down?
The shame…..The pain!!!! We had the power to stop him but not the will.
Youtube!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=_v0PQ-PF9bk
[...] I once blogged about Chelestiar Kong, who supports Chelsea and likes the sound of Balestier and thus dubbed himself with the appalling name you see above. [...]
oh God.. i’m a Man United fan living in Tampines
Okay. You definitely win :X