Tough love
June 14th, 2006 by jadeite
I can’t wait for this to be over. I’m struggling to approach it with the right mindset but I think…missions work is not for me.
It seems the more work I do to prepare for this trip, the further away from God I’m growing, and it’s making me uncomfortable. I don’t like this feeling. I’m always tired, I’m snappy and bitchy and annoyed at the working conditions and I don’t feel that this is helping me grow in my spiritual life one bit.
I really hope the trip itself will redeem everything for me. I just pray that God will find some way to work in me through all this. It’s easy to say it’s a lesson in humility, it’s taking me out of my comfort zone…but if I don’t feel this is right for me or for my faith, I don’t think I should be doing it.
I’ve committed to this so I’ll see this through, but I know one thing - I’m never going to do this again. I’ll have to find some other way to serve, because this is not what I’m meant to do.
sooo soooo cynical !! maybe they will turn out to be world-saving human beans? *snigger* even as i say it i am not convinced =P
I think it’s good that you’re honest with yourself. ^_^