tell me about it

away

from

you.

Wow, my last day of work is by far the craziest and busiest of all, tying up all loose ends and emailing all my stuff out to everyone for safekeeps.

And…I didn’t even have time for lunch today o_0

I never thought this day would come soon enough but…

IT’S MY LAST DAY OF WORK.

Teehee.

I can’t wait to get back to being a student - waking up late, downloading movies, cooking instant noodles and pasta, skipping dutifully attending lectures and tutorials.

It’s my last year being a student and I intend to savor it.

See, all those M’s?  I like M’s.  M&Ms.  Mmmm.

But I digress.  This morning I opened my handbag at work and realized, whoops, no handphone.  I must’ve left it at home.  Well then.  I call my mother to look for my phone and bring it down when she comes to this area later this afternoon.

The conversation goes a little something like this (every === denotes a new phone call):

Me: Mom, I left my phone at home, can you look for it and bring it down later? Yay. Thanks.
Mom: OK.

===

Mom: I called your phone. It rang and then someone hung up!
Me: Ohmygawd are you serious shit shit shit.
Mom: Where did you leave your phone?!  On the bus? Train?
Me: WAILS! I DON’T EVEN REMEMBER TAKING IT OUT OF THE HOUSE but I remember taking it off the charger so it must be at home!
Mom: But I called twice. The second time I called, it’s engaged. You’re screwed. YOUR PHONE IS LOST.

===

I start cussing out the asshat who has stolen my phone.  I hate the world.  I call my phone in a fit of panic.  It rings!!  I hang up and call my mother back.  I’m convinced she’s got my phone and is playing with me.

===

Me: ARE YOU PLAYING TRICKS WITH ME MOM CUZ IT’S NOT FREAKING FUNNY!
Mom: What?? *SMACK* I HAVE NO TIME TO PLAY TRICKS WITH YOU. I DON’T KNOW WHERE YOUR PHONE IS.
Me: *whimper* But but my phone rang. 
Mom: I’m sure you’ve lost it outside.  I don’t hear any ring tone, is it on silent mode?
Me: No.  Crap.  Can you check my room?
Mom: Okay, I see your laptop. Your table. Your table is a huge mess MAYBE IF YOU CLEANED YOUR ROOM YOU WOULDN’T LOSE YOUR PHONE IN YOUR OWN ROOM.
Me: asdfjskklhasdfaywg!!!!
Mom: I don’t see your phone anywhere. 
Me: I’m sure it’s at home.  Please please keep looking.  I’ll keep calling my phone and call you back.

===

I call my phone multiple times and listen to the soothing sound of the dialtone.

I call my mother back.

===

Me: Oh please God please tell me you found it.
Mom: HAHAHA I JUST FOUND IT - IN YOUR CUPBOARD.  You must have been so happy picking out earrings to wear to work that you closed your cupboard with your phone inside HAHAHAHAHAA.
Me: *wilts in relief* Okay thanks, mom.
Mom: I CAN’T BELIEVE I JUST SPENT FIFTEEN MINUTES GOING THROUGH YOUR WHOLE GERM-INFESTED ROOM TO FIND YOUR PHONE THAT YOU LEFT IN YOUR CUPBOARD BECAUSE YOUR EARRINGS WERE MORE IMPORTANT.
Me: Er, teehee, okay, bye now!

===

I can’t wait for this to be over.  I’m struggling to approach it with the right mindset but I think…missions work is not for me.

It seems the more work I do to prepare for this trip, the further away from God I’m growing, and it’s making me uncomfortable.  I don’t like this feeling.  I’m always tired, I’m snappy and bitchy and annoyed at the working conditions and I don’t feel that this is helping me grow in my spiritual life one bit.

I really hope the trip itself will redeem everything for me.  I just pray that God will find some way to work in me through all this.  It’s easy to say it’s a lesson in humility, it’s taking me out of my comfort zone…but if I don’t feel this is right for me or for my faith, I don’t think I should be doing it. 

I’ve committed to this so I’ll see this through, but I know one thing - I’m never going to do this again.  I’ll have to find some other way to serve, because this is not what I’m meant to do.

What’s with celebrities popping out babies this year?

Brangelina with their already-beautiful Shiloh Nouvel.  Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale with baby Kingston (sounds like a brand of refrigerators).  Tomkat with the as-yet-unseen Alien Baby.  Gwyneth, Chris Martin and their little Moses.  Seal and Heidi Klum produced baby Samuel, I think.  Matt Damon’s baby.  Rachel Weisz.  Mira Sorvino.  Donald who-says-I’m-wearing-a-toupee Trump.  Even Jack Black is a new dad.

They’re going to be the new Bratpack.  Add in all those kids born in the last few years - Posh and Becks’ Cruz, Sean Preston I-got-dropped-on-my-head Federline, Ava Phillippe, etc… and in about eighteen years we’re going to have a huge bunch of snotty-nosed celeb kids running around channeling Lindsay Lohan, Paris and Nicole, Hilary Duff.

Horrifying.  I shudder for the future.

I can see them growing up already.

At five years old: “Hi, my name is Shiloh.  My daddy is the cutest man in the world.  This is my imaginary friend, Suri.  You can’t see her because she doesn’t actually exist, but don’t tell her that or she’ll get Xenu to eat you up.”

At ten years: “I’m Kingston! This is my best friend Moses!  We play ball together and laugh at all the poor kids with ugly non-famous parents, like Sean Preston over there.  No, wait, he just has ugly parents.”

At sixteen: “I hate that bitch.  She stole Cruz from me even though, like, I love him for-evar and she KNOWS it, beeeeyatch, I’m gonna go over to her house and I’m going to purge in her Ferrari.”

At eighteen: “Noooo I’m not a drunk, coked-up anorexic whore.  Reaaaaaally.  Teehee.  Have you seen my sex video yet?”

I don’t know what’s wrong with me but I’ve been getting carsick quite a lot recently. I just staggered off the bus after a horrific 35 minute trip which involved me turning a sickly shade of green and burping a couple of times while desperately praying I didn’t taste vomit.

Nauseous and headachey and getting giddy.

I’m going to go lie down.

GUESS WHAT’S ON SALE AND I JUST HAD TO ORDER?

THIS!!!

Teeheesquee!

You took your coat off and stood in the rain,
You’re always crazy like that
And I watched from my window,
Always felt I was outside looking in on you
You’re always the mysterious one with
Dark eyes and careless hair,
You were fashionably sensitive
But too cool to care
You stood in my doorway, with nothing to say
Besides some comment on the weather

Well in case you failed to notice,
In case you failed to see,
This is my heart bleeding before you,
This is me down on my knees, and

These foolish games are tearing me apart,
And your thoughtless words are breaking my heart
You’re breaking my heart

You’re always brilliant in the morning,
Smoking your cigarettes and talking over coffee
Your philosophies on art, Baroque moved you
You loved Mozart and you’d speak of your loved ones
As I clumsily strummed my guitar
You’d teach me of honest things,
Things that were daring, things that were clean
Things that knew what an honest dollar did mean
I hid my soiled hands behind my back
Somewhere along the line, I must’ve gone
Off track with you

Well, excuse me, guess I’ve mistaken you for somebody else,
Somebody who gave a damn,
Somebody more like myself

You took your coat off,
Stood in the rain,
You’re always crazy like that…

How long is this going to last?

Mr Brown’s podcast spoofed the NU*S Biz School ad and it’s hilarious…typed out the transcript for your enjoyment. Head over to to mrbrown.com to catch the podcast.

Girl: UCLA, Cambridge, Harvard…and…Mom! I’m going to Singapore!
Mom: Singapore?
Girl: Yeah! Who the f*ck applied to Singapore for me?
Mom: We did, honey!
Girl: Mom! Are you nuts? That’s in China!
Mom: Well, that’d be good for you. Everybody will treat you well, cuz you’re what they call an angmoh.
Girl: Mom, that’s just for the boys! Our boys get their chicks there! But Singaporean boys are scared of angmoh girls like us!
Mom: Oh. Dang. Okay. How about Malaysia, then?
Girl: Mom! They hang you there if you use drugs too, you know!
Mom: Oh. That would be a problem - wouldn’t it?
VO: Singapore Business School. Preferred by people who need to go somewhere else to be tomorrow’s elite.

*wipes tears away* Ah, the last line. That’s classic. Pure classic.  The exaggerated Southern accent was a hoot too.  Heh.

Aaaaaangmoh!