tell me about it

I’m having fun working the beer tap, since it’s something I wouldn’t ever get to do at the pub, so I make it my personal duty to serve the four people drinking Heineken draught.  It’s become almost a game - while I make the rounds pouring wine, I keep an eye out for the levels in their glasses.  Once it hits the one-quarter mark, I tap more beer for them and set their new glasses in front of them without them ever having to ask.  The first time, they’re merely surprised.  The second time, they’re amused, and the third time, I’m offered a job.

—

“‘Scuse me, miss, could you get my lovely, amazing, gorgeous, fantastic first wife a drink please?”

He indicates the woman sitting across the table from him, and she doesn’t seem put out; in fact, she’s grinning along, so I nod.  “Certainly, sir.”

“It’s from me and my second wife,” he says, snugging an arm around the shoulder of the woman next to him.  Everyone laughs.

I raise an eyebrow, but he’s not done.

“Oh, and make sure it’s a glass of white wine, along with a glass of ice.”

“Of course,” I murmur, then the man’s newest wife looks up and offers an elegant shrug.  She’s got a cheeky smile on her face as she says:

“You see, he knows exactly how she likes it.”

Everyone bursts into laughter as I walk away grinning.

—

“Would you like another beer, sir?”

The big man in the ugly-as-sin Mambo shirt shakes his head.  “Oh no no, I can’t, I’m driving,” he says.  I start to take the glass away but he stops me.

“It’s all right, leave it here, he’ll drink it,” he says, putting the glass down in front of his neighbor, whose own glass I have only just replenished.

“But he has a full glass already,” I protest.

Mambo Shirt waves nonchalantly toward his friend.  “Ah, don’t worry about him.  He’s like Spongebob.  He’ll just soak the whole thing up.”