tell me about it

They’re both perched precariously on the chair, sharing the single seat between the two of them. She can feel the tension in his body, the self-consciousness, because this is new territory that they’re exploring. His arm rests gingerly around her waist to keep her from falling.

To keep me from falling, she thinks giddily. It might be a little too late for that.

His thumb rubs distracting little circles on her hipbone. Their conversation is a little stilted, a little nervous. They can’t deny the want to, need to that hangs between them, but he doesn’t want to push her, and she doesn’t know how to tell him that it wouldn’t be pushing.

“Wait,” she says, and disentangles herself from their awkward embrace. She reaches up to turn on the desk light, then walks across the room to turn off the main one. The room is awash in a gentle glow. He sits there, simply watching her, and she shivers involuntarily - but she’s not cold.

She settles back onto the chair, facing him, and his arm tightens around her once again. This time, his grip is surer. Already they start to attune themselves to the feel of each other. Already his warmth begins to feel familiar.

She removes both their spectacles and places them on the table. His face fuzzes out in her short-sighted vision, so she moves nearer; so that I can see him better, she thinks.

Yeah, right.

The look they share is so loaded that it sets all her senses ablaze. Her skin prickles with sensitivity and she can’t tear her eyes away from his. Deep, clichéd liquid pools that she can’t pull herself out of. And while she’s dumbly staring at him, somehow she’s ceased to notice how close their faces are.

So it takes her by vague surprise when he leans forward and his lips gently, hesitantly catch hers. She closes her eyes and luxuriates in their first sweet kiss. It is a long second before they pull apart, and a feeling of wonder, of quiet amazement spreads over her heart like a warm blanket. They regard each other silently for a little while.

Then they both close their eyes and their lips meet again, and the second kiss turns out to be just as good as the first.

And the third, and the fourth, and the fifth, until she stops counting.

-Copyright 2006 by J. Pan

EDVENTURE IS DOWN!

OH NOES HOW DO I STUDY HOW! ALL MY NOTES AND SLIDES AND STUFF ARE IN EDVENTURE!!!

HOW CAN THEY DO MAINTENANCE ON EDVENTURE WHEN EXAMS ARE TWO DAYS AWAY!? HOW?!?!??!

#@$#$%#$%NTU#@$%#%#$%NTU

Breakfast in bed is becoming a rather regular occurence.  How lovely to wake up to hot food and a smile.

Well exams start on Thursday - two papers - and then I’ve got a week’s break before another paper next Tuesday and on Wednesday; immediately after which Daddy’s going to drive by with the rest of the family and whisk me off to Malaysia for our annual family holiday.  We’re going up to Melaka for a night, then up to Cameron Highlands, and probably stop in on KL for a night on the way back.

Hmm, KL.  Lots of people in KL that I might want to meet up with.  Wonder if I’ll have time to look them up.

Lots of happeninghappening these holidays.  Oh, how I hate FYP.

Photos!

Last Monday we cooked Vermont curry and popcorn chicken and poured it over rice.  Man, plain white rice with oodles of tasty curry can make us so happy.  And if I say so myself, my curry tastes pretty darn good :P

Me and Sash are beginning to look alike, no? :D

Honey, I shrunk the tapes!  Hur.  Saw this silly little thing at Popular last week when buying the requisite exam stationery.  So cute :D

It’s an ego rush to see people walking around town in a tee-shirt that I designed.  Ha!

There’s not much I can say that won’t sound trite, but I’m so, so sorry for your loss.

It’s so painful being a Liverpool fan.  Bittersweet.

Oh, the ignominy of being thrashed 3-0 by Arsenal.

Sniffle.

In the blue of evening when you appear close to me, dear one,
There in the dusk we’ll share a dream reverie,
In the blue of evening while crickets call and stars are falling,
There ‘neath the midnight sky you’ll come to me.
In the shadows of the night we’ll stand, I’ll touch your hand.
And then, softly as your lovely eyes entreat, our lips will meet again.
In the blue of evening, night winds above whisper I love you,
There will we find romance in the blue of evening.

Almost everything that could go wrong today, did.

I overslept on the train and got off at Bugis. Took a train one stop back, got off, happily walked up the escalator and stared dumbstruck at City Hall MRT for about two seconds before turning back around to take the train another stop forward.

Got off at Raffles Place MRT and found to my horror that the place was inundated with overly-buff men and butch girls celebrating dragonboat-worship. Had to squeeze through the crowd and suffered the indignity of a grossly hairy and sweaty man wiping his arm against mine. Stifled my helpless squeaks of horror and tramped grimly onto McDonald’s. Had five minutes left to make it in time for work and as luck would have it the lady in front of me had some sort of brain impediment that caused her to be extra picky over her order and waste my precious time.

I finally made it to work with an inch to spare. I noticed with surprise that half the walkway has been set up already. “How nice,” I thought, and greeted Zet with a smile I felt was quite cheery despite the tragic morning. He promptly removed my smile with the phrase, “Eh, you’re the only one doing opening today.”

Me: Huh?
Zet: Yah, Jonathan not coming. Oh but I helped you do half the walkway already *beams proudly*

I mentally called Jonathan several choice names in my head as I dragged my feet up the stairs. Later while setting up, I found people crowding our quayside to watch the boat races. If you ask me the drummer has it bloody easy. Anyway I was delighted at my chance to take my bitch mood out on the people trespassing on our space so I started dragging tables willy nilly all over the place to block their way while sweetly saying “EXCUSE ME!” and “PLEASE MOVE THANK YOU!”

This one idiot decided that moving meant shifting his weight from one foot to the other while ignoring the poor sweaty waitress setting up the entire quayside alone, so I calmly dragged the table across his foot. “Oops, did I hurt you? My, I’m sorry,” I told him with wide innocent eyes as he sheepishly moved away.

Zet finally came to pitch in with the quayside and he tried to use his manager voice to move people away. Let’s just say his manager voice isn’t too effective because he’s this small-sized guy with a little boy face. So I kept being a bitch waitress and used my no-nonsense if-you-don’t-get-out-of-my-way-I-will-bean-you-with-this-table voice which worked a lot better combined with my I-hate-all-you-stupid-people expression. If you couldn’t already tell, I was not in a pretty mood.

Finally got everything set up after being sarcastically polite to a group of people whose bags were in my way. Luckily for them they moved quite readily. It must have been the look on my face. Powerful.

Something finally went right when I got posted inside and the other two got posted outside because it started to rain pretty early on. The poor girls were running in and out of the rain while I got to concentrate on the customers inside the pub. It got really bad during lunch when the kitchen got slammed and the other two were quite drenched in the rain.

I can only blame people who choose to sit on the quayside just to watch a couple of people row boats around the disgustingly murky Singapore River while eating lunch. It stands to reason that because there is no cover between the quayside and the pub that it will take awhile for your food to get to you. The poor waitresses have to balance trays of food and drink and umbrellas. We can only carry so many plates at one go. And when you make friends with other tables and order 14 dishes at one go? Service is going to take awhile.

After having to replace about six dishes on a table who felt their food was too cold for comfort, this other customer came in and complained that the fan was spluttering grease on his shirt and said we should reimburse him for his greasy shirt.

I restrained my urge to grease his face with the English breakfast grill I was carrying, then stopped myself from going out and breaking the fan into tiny bits for daring to malfunction today.

Half the walkway was rendered completely useless because of the damn rain. We pulled down the plastic curtains to shelter the quayside and our wide-screen TV from the rain, but some customers complained that they couldn’t see the boat races. So we rolled up the curtains again.

Then some other customers complained that they were getting wet.

I contemplated rolling over and dying quietly.

Things were so slammed that even our HR person came to help out with things. She smiled wryly at me and encapsulated everything when she shook her head and said, “It’s just one of those days.”

Then Ray came up to me when work was almost over and asked in a hopeful voice, “Beth, you free to work to eight today? We don’t have enough people.”

I gave him the most incredulous look I could muster.

“No. Way.”

At least I had enough sympathy to actually feel a bit guilty for not working extra.

ASDfasdkfjalksdfjhalksdjfa.  Cenite’s readings are, well, unreadable.  I’m so not cut out for law.  All the legalese and indecipherable mumbo-jumbo is killing me; it’s so difficult to get round the careful wording and stiff terms.  Aargh.  I hate law :(

Bah 401.

Bah exams.

I want to be playing Scrabble on a beach in a bikini with the sun dusting freckles on my shoulders.

I love the smell of sun-warmed skin and the feel of fine white sand between my toes. Sniffle.

Get me away from here!

I likes ‘em palindromes!  Found some at this site.  These are quite cute :D

A Toyota! Race fast, safe car. A Toyota.
A man, a plan, a cat, a ham, a yak, a yam, a hat, a canal — Panama!
A slut nixes sex in Tulsa.
Are we not drawn onward, we few, drawn onward to new era?
Do geese see God?
Drat Saddam, a mad dastard!
“I Love Me, Vol. I.”
Swap God for a janitor? Rot in a jar of dog paws!
Yo! Banana Boy!

Got this off Ying.  I love the way this poem rolls around the mouth.  Tasty bittersweet.  Pumpkin, this is for you.

‘I thought you loved me.’ ‘No, it was only fun.’
‘When we stood there, closer than all?’ ‘Well, the harvest moon
Was shining and queer in your hair, and it turned my head.’
‘That made you?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘Just the moon and the light it made
Under the tree?’ ‘Well, your mouth, too.’ ‘Yes, my mouth?’
‘And the quiet there that sang like the drum in the booth.
You shouldn’t have danced like that.’ ‘Like what?’ ‘So close,
With your head turned up, and the flower in your hair, a rose
That smelt all warm.’ ‘I loved you. I thought you knew
I wouldn’t have danced like that with any but you.’
‘I didn’t know, I thought you knew it was fun.’
‘I thought it was love you meant.’ ‘Well, it’s done.’ ‘Yes, it’s done.
I’ve seen boys stone a blackbird, and watched them drown
A kitten… it clawed at the reeds, and they pushed it down
Into the pool while it screamed. Is that fun, too?’
‘Well, boys are like that… Your brothers…’ ‘Yes, I know.
But you, so lovely and strong! Not you! Not you!’
‘They don’t understand it’s cruel. It’s only a game.’
‘And are girls fun, too?’ ‘No, still in a way it’s the same.
It’s queer and lovely to have a girl…’ ‘Go on.’
‘It makes you mad for a bit to feel she’s your own,
And you laugh and kiss her, and maybe you give her a ring,
But it’s only in fun.’ ‘But I gave you everything.’
‘Well, you shouldn’t have done it. You know what a fellow thinks
When a girl does that.’ ‘Yes, he talks of her over his drinks
And calles her a–’ ‘Stop that now, I thought you knew.’
‘But it wasn’t with anyone else. It was only you.’
‘How did I know? I thought you wanted it too.
I thought you were like the rest. Well, what’s to be done?’
‘To be done.’ ‘Is it all right?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘Sure?’ ‘Yes, but why?’
‘I don’t know, I thought you were going to cry.
You said you had something to tell me.’ ‘Yes, I know.
It wasn’t anything really… I think I’ll go.’
‘Yes, it’s late. There’s thunder about, a drop of rain
Fell on my hand in the dark. I’ll see you again
At the dance next week. You’re sure that everything’s right?’
‘Yes,’ ‘Well, I’ll be going.’ ‘Kiss me…’ ‘Good night.’ … ‘Good night.’