Vegan liquid diet
Sun, 25 February 2007, 6:51 pm by jadeite“Today’s special is the Sunday roast, sir,” I inform the customer in my chirpiest waitress voice. “Comes with Yorkshire pud and mixed veggies.”
“Yes yes, a very proper English meal, of course,” the man says ingenuously, but shakes his head. “I can’t have that. It’s got meat in it. I’m vegan.”
“Really?” I ask. “Wow. It’s really difficult to maintain a vegan diet in Singapore if you eat out all the time, isn’t it?”
“Not at all. I have no problem with my vegan diet. See, I do a vegan liquid diet,” the man says. I raise my eyebrows. He sounds like a real health fanatic.
“A liquid diet? No wonder you’re so slim.” I arch my eyebrows as I peer at him. “Well then, I’m glad to inform you that we have lots of fruit juices here. Fruit punch, lime juice, orange juice, tomato…” But he’s shaking his head vehemently at me - “No no no. None of that healthy shit.”
I’m a little taken aback. “But you’re vegan,” I begin to say, and the man can’t keep his grin in any longer.
“Yes, I love fruits and vegetables,” he says proudly. “I get my fruits from wine, and my vegetables from beer. Told you,” he beams at me while I give him an incredulous oh-I-can’t-believe-you-were-bullshitting-me look, “I’m on a vegan liquid diet. Gimme a pint of alcoholic barley juice. I specially like that brand.”
He points at the tank card on the table.
“Heineken please!”
