I spent the whole day alone because I thought I needed some time by myself.

Then night came around and I was seized by this sudden terror of being alone, and I wished desperately for some company. But there was no one to call. I hate that sudden rush of desperation, that need to be with someone I could throw my arms around and cry to.

I don’t know why I feel so incredibly hollow. I don’t know why I feel so shattered and why it hurts so much. I’ve eaten so much grief that I’m choking on it and I know I need to let it out. But there’s no one I want to let it out to, and I can’t do this on my own.

I’m so tired.