Bearing up
Sun, 20 May 2007, 10:23 pm by jadeiteSorry for the weepy posts lately.
My grandfather has been gone for a week today and it’s been surprisingly difficult to let go. You think it should end with the funeral but it doesn’t. Helping my grandmother clear up his stuff is painful; and it’s startling how often I think oh, I should drop by the hospital later since I have time, and then I realize that there’s absolutely no reason to do so anymore. I was there so often the last month that it’s hard to adjust to not trying to work a hospital visit into my daily schedule anymore. It’s just that realizing he’s gone hits me at the weirdest times, and I keep seeing his face in my head, replaying his dying moments, replaying all the things that happened in the last few months. Feeding him, cleaning him, turning him, massaging him, clipping his nails even. Remembering how he nodded when I asked him if he knew that I love him. Wondering if he really knew what I was saying. Hoping.
I really miss him. And I wish I’d loved him more before he got ill.
it’s your blog! blogs are meant for you to let off some steam or a fart.
i know how that feels…same thing when my grandpa passed away too.
*pats*
im waiting for my grandma to die. shes 80 but pretty fit. i dont mean in it in a morbid way. just that i’ve never experienced a death in the family. cant sympatize with people who mourn and grief. hopefully one day ill be able to..
:o
im quite close to my grandma.. but i know she has to go one day.. and i keep thinking what it will be like.