tell me about it

Made me smile early in the morning :)

Adrianna, or Popagandhi as she is popularly known, wrote an op-ed that is possibly the best post on the subject I have read so far, and which brought me close to tears. She’s my junior from my junior college and I live vicariously through her Asian travels – reading her blog and tracking her adventures makes me feel less guilty about doing it from my chair and not getting up to travel myself. This time she writes about her own point of view as an out lesbian who’s Christian and from a “very Christian” family.

I know it’s a tough subject, a hot topic, and one that gets people on either side of the fence riled and upset – no less myself. I’m really touchy about it. I have many gay friends. I grew up with them. I spent 10 years in all-girls’ schools, which my mother sent me to in order to curb my fascination for boys, but which only fired them further and also introduced me to the realities of lesbianism at the tender age of 10. In secondary school, on the brink of puberty and surrounded by girls who were discovering other girls, I questioned my own sexuality as a matter of course (though I think that the outcome of that question should be terribly obvious – I used to declare that I’m so straight you could use me as a ruler, whereupon my gay friend replied that he must then be used for drawing graphs, as he was obviously a flexible curve). For half of my life I have loved my gay friends dearly, male and female. I was proud to be affectionately called their fag hag – one of the highlights was attending Camp Comedy with seven men, none of whom will ever be interested in women.

There again, I spent 8 years in Christian schools, and now work in one, but never have I received the slightest indication that I should cease to love or accept anyone whose sexual orientation differs from mine. On my own I never had the slightest inkling or feeling that I should treat them differently, or shun them, or wave the Bible at them and intone sonorously that they would not be welcome in the kingdom of God.

I know this may be a viewpoint that many other Christians reject. That being who I am and whose daughter I am, this is an opinion I should not be entitled to. But again I say – the Bible is a historical document. In New Testament letters, there were many other directives given that suit the lifestyle and culture of the day. Women covering their heads in church? Women shamed by speaking out in church? I hardly think that is something to be considered viable in this day and age. The Bible speaks out against homosexuals, but the context refers specifically to male temple prostitution, and indeed many Bible scholars rightly point out that the translation from the original, “malakos” is correctly translated to mean ‘male prostitutes’ or ‘catamites’, boys which were kept by older men as sex toys.

Whatever the argument, whatever the case, I stand by my belief that since no one can agree, and since it is not a black and white issue, it’s not my place to judge or to condemn. I agree with Adrianna – were it indeed a sin, then it is their cross to bear. Often my fiery nature defends my opinions more than perhaps I should, but this is an issue that always has been and always will be close to my heart.

I’ve developed a new love for Charles and Keith shoes. I never used to like them – too common, unpretty (clunky, aunty and low-quality material used), and they didn’t fit particularly well. But it seems to have undergone a transformation these past year. Their designs are much fresher, more chic, and more updated. Their shoes fit me to a T now, and look so good that I gladly take the chance of bumping into someone with the same pair of shoes.

I recently was willingly persuaded to buy two pairs of patent d’orsay heels from C&K and I must say I absolutely love them. My feet have been trained to a point where I’m blithe about stepping about in a 3 inch heel, and despite the height the C&K shoes stay comfy throughout most of the day. Makes me happy to have pretty shoes on my feet that don’t cost the earth. While my Aldo shoes are gorgeous and start out comfy, they rapidly start hurting my feet after about an hour or so or prolonged wear and don’t do for everyday tramping about and up and down staircases, and standing all day in classrooms.

It’s nice to fall into a rut where you know your exact size in a particular shop. I just hope they don’t let me down!

I’m beginning to have a thing for animal prints too…strictly faux skins only though! Paradoxically as a true-blue Chinese girl, I’ll eat all manner of animal but I feel uncomfy wearing their skin on me.

Nicole Lamarche, Miss California 2003 and now an ordained minister at Cotuit Federated Church in Cotuit, Mass, is speaking out about the furor over the question blogger Perez asked Miss California 2009 – something along the lines of, “Vermont recently legalized gay marriage. Do you think other states should follow suit, and why?”

Her answer then was that it was great that America was allowing people in same-sex relationships to get married (uh – what is an ‘opposite-marriage’?), but that she had been brought up to believe that marriage should take place only between a man and a woman. The outcry then was mixed – some, while agreeing with her, felt that the way she had phrased her answer had not been politically sensitive or tactful. Some argued that she hadn’t even answered the question! Many booed her for her stance. Some, of course, stood up for her and her “Biblically correct” answer.

A reply that piqued my interest came from Pastor Lamarche, who says:

“As a pastor and a former Miss California, I am often asked to interpret what the Word of God has to say on a particular subject. I am quite confident that God prefers that we human beings stick to speaking for ourselves. And yet there are occasions when God’s Word is used as a weapon, and I feel compelled to speak.

In the past few days, much has been made of the words of Miss California USA, Carrie Prejean. She stated that marriage is between a man and a woman. I write not in response to her opinion, but rather about her comments that followed: that the Bible condones her words. She said, ‘It’s not about being politically correct, it’s about being biblically correct.’ While this sentiment is shared by many who seek to condemn gay people and gay marriage, citing pieces of the Bible to further one’s own prejudice fails to meet the Bible on its own terms.

Most people seeking to condemn gay people point to the Book of Leviticus, where we read that men lying with men is an abomination. However, we rarely hear of other verses found in the book of Leviticus that are equally challenging. For example, Leviticus also tells us that eating shrimp and lobster is an abomination. And that a person should not wear material woven of two kinds of material—an impossible mandate for a pageant contestant!

In Paul’s letter to the community in Corinth we read, ‘For it is shameful for a woman to speak in church….’ And yet these words have not prevented Christian denominations from ordaining women, such as myself. Sadly, the Bible has been used to further prejudice throughout history. We have used it to permit ourselves to enslave people; to conquer and kill; and to denigrate the earth.

The truth is that it is difficult to know for sure the intentions of the biblical authors, but we do know something about God. Those of us who know God through Jesus of Nazareth know that he went to great lengths to express God’s love to people who were labeled as outcasts. He spent time with children, prostitutes, and lepers, all of whom were labeled as outside of the grasp of the Holy. As we continue to seek God’s vision for us as a nation grounded in a love for justice, I pray that we might move closer to the cause of grace.”

I have a firm belief that whatever we are, whoever we are, God loves us all. Whatever we have done, I believe that it is not my place to judge – especially in an area that seems so gray. If you ask me to draw a line, I believe it is promiscuity that is the bigger sin! All I want to do is to love and accept my friends. When Jesus came to earth, the old commandments were put away and a new one instituted – love your neighbor as yourself.

Love your neighbor. If he’s gay, if he’s a kleptomaniac, if he has an annoying dog, if her cup size is twice yours, if she runs naked in the street. Love them.

Leave the punishing to God – He’s the one who wrote the rulebook. Our rule is to love.

Love.

The title of the article is: “Any job should do …Flexibility will impress future employers, Gan tells youth who raise discrimination concerns”.

The person in question is Mr. Gan Kim Yong – who used to be Minister of State for Education, now the Manpower Minister.

The article tells how Mr. Gan earnestly counseled young NTUC members to take whatever job comes their way in a period of economic instability and uncertainty.

He then cited himself as an example. “My dream job was to be a teacher,” Mr. Gan informed the group, “but the closest I ever got was to be Minister of State for Education.”

“The important thing is not to look for things we like to do, but to like the things that you’re doing,” he continued.

Poor Mr. Gan, having to settle for such a job as Minister – when he could be earning peanuts with us teachers who smugly hold his dream job. I feel so guilty.

Sure, he does a whole lot more work that’s much more difficult than what we teachers do – but seriously, that’s just a terrible example to cite, especially when referring to the poor economy. Our MPs even got a raise not long ago – on top of the salary some earn on their regular jobs – and you compare this to people struggling to find jobs in the lousy financial climate? It’s almost as inappropriate as Mr. Tan Yong Soon bragging about his family’s jaunt at Cordon Bleu a few months ago. Le Sigh.

xkcd rocks. I was smiling non-stop when I read this one.

I am falling in love with this color! Perhaps I can convince C to let me paint one room in this color, with brown and cream trimmings. Although – we only have two rooms to decorate. :(

A kitchen full of Tiffany blue Kitchenaid contraptions. Bliss.

Tiffs blue, chocolate and ivory color palette from Snippet and Ink. This was my initial color palette until the wistfulness for summer colors overtook me and culminated in the happy discovery of the Tiffany blue and poppy red combination. Best of both worlds :)

The Tulip Dress from etsy seller sarahseven (selling for a cool USD475). Seriously expensive, but also seriously gorgeous.

-image from Cheongsam Boutique

Am starting to think about my tea ceremony attire. Right now I’m seriously considering wearing a kebaya instead of the traditional cheongsam, as a nod to my Peranakan roots, but at the same time I love the thought of a slinky red cheongsam that I can wear again. Kebayas aren’t as sexy to me as a cheongsam can be!

I’m debating tailoring, but at the same time I’m not too keen to spend too much on a dress that I wouldn’t wear that often – probably only for someone else’s wedding dinner or something. I also know that I definitely want to wear red. I’ve already bought a lovely flower to pin into my hair for the tea ceremony, and of course it’s red to match whatever outfit I pick.

Cheongsam or kebaya? And where can I get nice ones from? Seems like all the nice ones are really, really pricey…

Office life improves vastly when you find a colleague you can be close to and have fun bitchin’ with. Thank God I finally found someone(s!) to bond with at work. Last year, after I lost Amelia and Debs and Unk Foo from practicum, work was pretty much sad and lonely and quiet – now the office resounds with my craziness once again!

It’s just nice to have someone to talk to, someone to have lunch with, someone I can be mad with at work so that it’s not such a downer. What would I do without Piggy and Kitty?

I picked my gown out from an a la carte rental shop – we’re neither one of us keen on spending crazy money on the wedding because it’s only one day. We’d rather use the money to build a home for ourselves – anyhoo, we’ve had to fork out quite a bit for COV and of course we’re furnishing the flat from scratch, so it’s going to take quite a bit of money there. I can’t believe a good mattress (vital for both of us with creaky backs) can cost more than $2k! That’s my entire month’s salary right there.

So I went to try on the one dress I really liked. The shop turned out to be an entire HDB flat that was purely used for gowns, gowns, and more gowns. I swear it was wall-to-wall gowns! One of the bedrooms was mirrored and used for a changing room. The first one I tried on was the one I liked best.

No photos of that one because I ended up choosing it!

But here were the other possible contenders. Since I’ll only get to wear this dress once in a lifetime, I decided just to try other dresses on – just in case.

I tried the typical bustier and poofy organza skirt combo:

It was a little loose, so I had to hang onto the back with one hand. I didn’t mind it – the skirt was quite fun to swish around in.

Then she let me try on a bustier with a different sort of skirt:

She kept raving about this one, and the beading was gorgeous, but it was twice the rental price of the initial one I liked, plus with my long torso this dress made my legs look a little short. And the choker just makes my head look tiny.

The next one she brought in was too similar to the first – and showcased my lack of a significantly-sized chest.

Apologies for ghastly makeup-less face – wasn’t wearing any because I didn’t want to stain the white dresses! The bust area for this one was hilariously huge. It wasn’t too bad, I thought, but gah everyone picks bustiers with organza skirts.

In the end I tried on the first gown again and just loved the details on it so much. But, one huge problem about being taller than the average Singaporean girl means that most of these dresses skimmed my toes. Some of them were alterable in length, but the gown I liked isn’t alterable due to some lovely detail work around the hem. :( Despite my dream of getting married in my cream 4 inch Aldo heels getting promptly crushed, I decided to go with the dress because it was too pretty (and too affordable) to pass up. Am now on the hunt for a low-heeled pair of shoes to wear instead!