tequila sunrise

IM SITTEN ON MUH BUTT
EATIN MUH TOEZ

TOEZ R TASTEH
OM NOM NOM NOM

Dream #1:
A few nights ago, I dreamed that I was growing fuzz on my cheeks and beneath my nose. At first it was just a little bit, but my erstwhile stubble soon blossomed into a full mustache and beard. In my dream I was looking in the mirror, frowning and fingering my new [...]

Utterly useless trick to know but oh-so-impressive, if you have about six hundred dominos, four pool tables, and too much damn time on your hands.
Did I mention the oh-so-impressive part?

I was reading the papers the other day - an article titled something along the lines of “PM Lee Looking For His Successor”.
Joel pokes his head over my shoulder and reads the title in silence. Then, in all innocence, he inquires, “Why? He lost his son ar?”

Bing: Your brother picks the baby hamsters up with chopsticks
Me: Erk
Bing: Your brother
Me: Your boyfriend
Bing: Hmmm. I blame you cos you probably taught each other that :P
Me: :o I never did! I picked them up with FORKS.
Me: I don’t know where he learnt this chopstick thing. :P
Bing: Boohoo :( now the chopstick thing sounds more [...]

(Ironically, haven’t had any caffeine today - so maybe I’m just a natural vibrating crackhead. Hmmm.)

I push a pen into my student’s hand. “Okay, go to the board and edit the sentence there. You can erase what’s not important, or you can change words if you want.”
The student stands up front for a few minutes, perusing the sentence and chewing on his lip. I decide to be [...]

The kitty is sitting gawkishly in front of the refrigerator, legs splayed as she bends over and licks a certain part of her anatomy enthusiastically. My dad pauses on the way to the sink and looks at her askance.
“Hey. Sit properly,” he remonstrates. Sasha pauses mid-lick and stares at him. The [...]

I just received an inspirational email - the kind that exhorts you to pass it on to light up the lives of five other people, if only you care for someone, press “forward” and send it on, send it on, now!
The email praised the goodness of God and stated cheerfully that God was going to [...]

There is hunger in my tummy!
There is hunger in my tummy and it’s doing a dance!
It’s yelling that it’s hungry and it doesn’t want plants!
Meat! it’s screaming and it wants its meat now!
But I have lesson in ten minutes so how! So how!
There is hunger in my tummy and it won’t be appeased!
It wants a [...]