tell me about it

Me: I need to go to the pants editor.
Hubba: The who?
Me: *gestures vaguely* You know, the guy who edits pants. Mine are too long.
Hubba: You mean the tailor.
Me: Yes! That guy.

Man this cracks me up. At first the notion of Charlotte Church and Amy Winehouse singing together was amusing – then the notion of them singing Michael Jackson was even funnier.

Then I clicked play.

Aw man, Amy. I don’t even know what she’s singing :/

I think the funniest is the expression on Charlotte’s and the backup singers’ faces. They look really, really pissed off, and Amy?

She’s just piss drunk!

SPASM!

BACKSTREET’S BACK ALL RIGHT!

YES!!!!!!

DID YOU ALSO KNOW THEY ARE PERFORMING IN SINGAPORE AT THE F1 RACES!!!!!!!!!!!

SQUEAL!

Just completed oral prelim exam for our Sec 4s. After every session we teachers gather to collate marks and inevitably have a good guffaw at some of the things that come out of our students’ mouths. Here are some of my choice picks.

For picture description of kindergarten children:
“According to the facade on the children, they are very happy.”
“The kids are separated into groups of girls and boys. This is so that the boys cannot sexually harass the girls. (Me: Do you think they are young enough to understand sexual harassment?) Even though the girls may not know that they are being sexually harassed, the boys will try it anyway.”
“These are kindergardeners.” (Marcus: Do they plant flowers?)

On career options:
“It’s good to be a doctor. It means that it’s very easy to take bacon home for your family.”

On pregnancy:
“Women are more prone to suffer from childbirth than men.”
“Well, females are the ones who tend to get pregnant more oftenly, so probably they should be the ones to get maternity leave and not the men.”

For picture description of a group of elderly folk tossing a plastic ball to each other:
“There is a man in a wheelchair standing behind them.”
“These old folk are going through an obstacle course.”
“This is the scene of an old fox home.”

On preserving wildlife:
“Humans are not the only thinking animals on this planet, so we should take care of the other animals.”

On putting old folks into nursing homes:
“If you don’t have enough money to send your grandparents to a nursing home, you can always ask your siblings to f*ck up the money together.”

I am in awe.

I need to watch this.

Best. B-grade. Movie. EVAH.

Debbie Gibson!

Yup. That’d be me.

A modern druid who calls himself “King Arthur Pendragon” faces his arrest for his refusal to quit his protest vigil at Stonehenge:

King Arthur Pendragon at Stonehenge. Photograph: Barry Batchelor/PA

Utterly hilarious. When we were there, we didn’t see any actual hippies but we did see a caravan parked some way away, blasting Eurotrash techno and with wisps of smoke rising from around it. Hilarious!

The druid protester King Arthur Pendragon defied a court order to leave Stonehenge this afternoon, vowing to continue his protest until the site is open to all.

Pendragon, formerly known as John Rothwell, set up camp on the edge of the site in June 2008 and faces eviction by Wiltshire council, which says he is blocking the public highway.

The 55-year-old, who changed his name by deed poll 33 years ago, wants visitors to be able to walk around and touch the stones rather than remain in a visitor centre and be confined to marked-out trails. He is also calling for promised improvements to the monument to be carried out.

On Monday last week, the council was granted an eviction order by Salisbury county court to remove Pendragon from byway 12, which is known locally as the Netheravon coach road. Pendragon’s camp on the byway sits alongside Stonehenge between the A303 and A344 and includes a caravan. The protester, who hopes to run as an independent parliamentary candidate, pickets staff and tourists daily.

Shortly after the deadline expired today, he said he had no intention to leave. “We have opened a bottle of mead and we are drinking to Stonehenge. I have done a short ritual and spell of protection, calling on the kings of old.

“I am still here so I am in breach of the order as they see it but I have as much right as anyone else to be here. I am not blocking the byway; other tourists park along there. I am not going to go, I am battening down the hatches and continuing my lawful right to protest and my equal right to religious practice.”

Pendragon started protesting with consent from the Council of British Druid Orders after last year’s summer solstice. The government scrapped plans to remove fences around Stonehenge, build an underpass and grass over the A344 in 2007.

Stephen Helsby, Wiltshire council’s highways enforcement and traveller services manager, said last week: “This ancient byway is open to all traffic. Wiltshire Council, in its capacity as local highway authority, has a duty to maintain everybody’s right to use its full width without interruption or other obstruction.

“The council strives to protect all of its public rights of way from trespass and that includes byway 12, which is situated at the heart of this important world heritage site.”

-From The Guardian-

The title of the article is: “Any job should do …Flexibility will impress future employers, Gan tells youth who raise discrimination concerns”.

The person in question is Mr. Gan Kim Yong – who used to be Minister of State for Education, now the Manpower Minister.

The article tells how Mr. Gan earnestly counseled young NTUC members to take whatever job comes their way in a period of economic instability and uncertainty.

He then cited himself as an example. “My dream job was to be a teacher,” Mr. Gan informed the group, “but the closest I ever got was to be Minister of State for Education.”

“The important thing is not to look for things we like to do, but to like the things that you’re doing,” he continued.

Poor Mr. Gan, having to settle for such a job as Minister – when he could be earning peanuts with us teachers who smugly hold his dream job. I feel so guilty.

Sure, he does a whole lot more work that’s much more difficult than what we teachers do – but seriously, that’s just a terrible example to cite, especially when referring to the poor economy. Our MPs even got a raise not long ago – on top of the salary some earn on their regular jobs – and you compare this to people struggling to find jobs in the lousy financial climate? It’s almost as inappropriate as Mr. Tan Yong Soon bragging about his family’s jaunt at Cordon Bleu a few months ago. Le Sigh.

Evidently I am raising the next generation of Mambo kings.

Today in Character First class (like Moral Ed) we were discussing “Favorite Things” and the topic fell to music; one of my students shouted “RICK ASTLEY!” and my eyes flew open in delight and surprise. I actually turned on the computer, logged onto Imeem, and played “Never Gonna Give You Up”, AND THEY STARTED SINGING ALONG. THEY KNOW THE LYRICS.

I didn’t know whether to burst with pride or roll around on the floor in terror of what is to come.

Possibly one of the funniest things I’ve seen on etsy.

Now you too can crochet yourself a Kali made of yarn! Just like you’ve always wanted!

Sold by melbangel on etsy!