tell me about it

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

Remember the customer who accidentally thwacked my lip and sent the shot flying over his friend?
Well he came back to the pub with Ferrero Rocher and another apology.  Heh.
So sweet!

As I approach a customer from the back with his Cock-sucking Cowboy shot, he flings his arms out wide to welcome a friend.  He manages to hit my lip AND hit the shot out of my hand, which splashes all over the woman sitting next to him.  Over her hair.  On her face.  On her [...]

I’m having fun working the beer tap, since it’s something I wouldn’t ever get to do at the pub, so I make it my personal duty to serve the four people drinking Heineken draught.  It’s become almost a game - while I make the rounds pouring wine, I keep an eye out for the levels [...]

The slim Portuguese man at table 47 gazes rapturously up at me. “Señorita, muy bonita,” he says, starry-eyed. I smile back at him. “Gracias,” I reply, and his eyes widen.
“¡Habla español!” his Spanish friend exclaims.
“Si, un poquito.”
They beam at me, and I mentally thank my Spanish tutor for drilling us in the [...]

“Sir, your food and drink cost $xx,” Kelly says.
The guy nods and takes out his wallet.
“Okay, but I want a receipt.”
“Why do you need a receipt?” his friend cocks his head in curiosity.
The guy looks at Kelly, then back at his friend. “It’s a matter of integrity,” he says. “I don’t trust these [...]

Today I was tipped S$20 on a S$35 bill.
By a local.
By a local woman.
I take back everything I ever said about local women never tipping. Evidently some do; and some tip very well.
Simply amazing.

I hate bad customers.
Like the one who today told Jassy to “F*ck off” when she presented him his bill. I stepped in and then he told ME to f*ck off. His body language was terribly insolent and threatening and I knew he’d been drinking a lot (guess who’d been taking his orders). [...]